Menu
The Obligatory Game Quotes Page
| Gerard: {Carrying a bag of dead dire rats) - I've spent the *entire* morning cleaning these things up. You should see what they did to the Shrine of the Unicorn. I swear, when I find out who brought these here...
Versa: (As Mrs. Tibbs runs to hide behind her) Umm...there's a really funny story about this. |
| Flora (Psychically): Charles, eat your food.
Charles: I don't want to eat. (Flora mentally dominates Charles into eating) Flora: If you don't eat, people will think we're poisoning them, and that never ends well for the hosts. Charles: Fine, but I'm not going to like it. |
| Lord Makron: You are the undisciplined children of a rebel House, justly banished from the Courts of Chaos.
Charles: So you're Macaroni of Chain-cut? Lord Makron: Speak one more word, immutable spawn of Amber. Just one... Ravak (Appearing from nowhere): I wouldn't do that. |
| Anita: We're supposed to meet Random.
Julian (through gritted teeth while glaring at Lord Makron) That's *King* Random. Lord Makron: (shrugging) Not my king. |
| Anita: When do we meet this Random?
Flora: Here in Castle Amber, it's *King Random*. I would have though Lord Makron would have explained this to you. Makron: He's not my King. Flora: I'll be speaking to *your* king, Lord Makron, soon enough. Makron: Still no difference. |
| Attendant: You've been upgraded to first class, free of charge.
Anita: Why? Attendant: You've been randomly selected. Anita (to GM): Is this United? GM: Yes. Anita: How could this possibly go wrong. |
| GM: As you're looking at the man in the next aisle, the plane explodes.
Anita: So....United. GM: The good news is that the explosion cleanly sheared off at the row behind yours. You are unhurt. The bad news is that you're free falling at 15,000 feet. Anita: Can I fly? GM: No. But it probably wouldn't matter as the fuselage section slams into a flying city. Anita: So why was I flying United? And you said a *flying* city? GM: Falling more than flying, yes. Charles: Oh, hey. I know where *you're* at. |
| Fiona: Well, since you have it here in the lab, let's do an autopsy.
Versa: Shouldn't it be dead? Fiona: Undead, dead. It's really just semantics. |
| (Charles is in House Chanicut, laying still in a pit of bones that animate and beat him
whenever he moves)
Ravak: Why are you laying in that pit of bones? Charles: Because they don't hurt me if I lay still. Guard (to Ravak): He could just deactivate the animator. It's the button on the wall. Ravak: He doesn't know that, does he? Guard: Doesn't appear so. Ravak: Hmmm. (Walks away) |
| Lady Zartralia: Charles, I'm your step-mother and we're in the Courts.
It's both optional and completely acceptable for me to try to kill you.
Michael: In Amber, it's mandatory for your blood relatives to try to kill you. Charles: That's insane! Michael: The Amber thing or the Chaos thing? Charles: Both! |
| (Anita appears unexpectedly in Llewella's chambers in Rebma)
Guard Captain in Rebma: Seize her! Anita: That's not happening... GM: The guards beat you with polearms until you are subdued. Guard Captain: Now seize her. |
| Dara: Why honey, I got you a wonderful present.
Mandor: If you recall, there were several things I specified as dangerous. Ravak: Gifts. Mandor: And especially those from your mother. Merlin's still "enjoying" his last present. Dara: Don't be silly. Everyone adores my little tokens. |
| Dara: I think I can do something with this one.
Versa: Is she talking to me? Ravak: That would be your grandmother. |
| Random: Everyone is currently ordered to prepare for a reception.
Simone: What about Anita? Random: Everyone who is currently not in the dungeon is ordered to prepare for a reception. |
| Llewella: (Holding Anita by the ear) Is this one yours?
Corwin: Yes. What did she do? Llewella: She was in my chambers. Anita: The mirror did it... Corwin: You have no idea how bad this is. (Grabbing Anita by the ear) |
| Michael: (Sitting cross-legged at the center of the missing Pattern)
Random: Let me check something. (Pulls a blade and stabs Michael through the heart) Michael: *That* was rude. Random: Yeah, it's as bad as I thought. |
| Fiona: So what did you do to the Pattern??
Michael: I walked it. Like Bleys told me to. Fiona (looking at Bleys): You what... Bleys (in a softball jersey): It wasn't me. I was playing softball with Random and Martin. Fiona: And the rest of you? Charles: I did it because everyone else was doing it. |
| Michael: Are you me?
Mike: Jesus, I hope not. You're like a hippy version of me. Michael: So what sort of music do you like? Mike: Hard metal, mainly speed metal and death metal. Michael: So you're Metal Mike. Mike: You don't want to meet the Country Mike. |
| Finndo: I'm not saying I want to kill you. I'm just saying I will.
Simone: Oh, well, that's much better. Finndo: I assure you that it will bother me a little. Until I redraw the Pattern and you never existed. Then it won't. |
| Queen Regent Dara: Versa dear, I was hoping you'd come to visit.
Versa: I'm so happy to see you, m'lady. Queen Regent Dara: Oh pish posh, don't stand on formality. We're blood, aren't we? Versa: Yes? |
| Queen Regent Dara: Either way, I'm blaming somebody besides myself. |
| Versa: I need to find a way to magically reduce the damage of asshats. |
| Queen Regent Dara: The problem with this book, dear Versa, are these pages.
(Rips out all of the pages as Versa glares angrily) *Now* you're at a good place to start over. |
| Queen Regent Dara: You can get a tattoo of a unicorn but it won't make your bears dance. |
| Queen Regent Dara: You can kick over a lantern, but it won't set your bears on fire. |
| Mandor: 'Bears' is just a word she uses when she can't think of the actual word. |
| Tmer II: (Giggling as he forces Charles body to shapeshift)
Charles: Gurgle, gack, aacckk. Lady Zartralia: Oh dear. That wasn't how I was planning to do this. |
| Thelissa: Here, use this. (Tosses a staff)
Simone: It's not a paintbrush, but it'll do. |
| Thelissa: Here, use this. (Tosses a staff)
Simone: It's not a paintbrush, but it'll do. |
| Anita: I need a chicken.
Mandor: How would you like it prepared? Anita: Live. |
| Folcher: That's not how you prepare chicken.
Ravak: Do we have a water dish for her in case I fail? |
| Makron: (Revealing himself as Black Scythe) It has been a long time, my friend. I do wish you to enjoy these last minutes of your life. |
| Anita (Showing Harry and Sally): I have these.
Dierdre: Only if you can keep them. |
| Michael: I kind of want to try an experiment, but it will give you a headache.
Dranaj: Then I guess it was good knowing you. |
| Simone: Hello Charles, are you busy?
Charles (falling at maximum velocity): If by busy you mean pull me through, then PULL ME THROUGH! |
| Simone: (Motioning to a two-headed beatle with Charles' face) Would this be Pat? |
| Ravak: Pat is you.
Charles: Excuse me? Simone: Smile and nod. Ravak: Smile and nod, boys. Just smile and nod. |
| Richard: Anita, what sort of wine goes with necromancy and chicken sacrifice? |
| Anita: So, great. We left Richard behind with a dead chicken and an unopened bottle of wine. |
| Ravak: I just had an interesting conversation with a tree. |
| Dierdre: So you don't know what house do you belong to?
Ravak: I know what house I belong to. It's just a sticky situation. |